That was the question that entered my mind just the other day – Am I running away?
Your probably thinking what? What are you running away from?
A big hairy spider?
A looming deadline?
Writing another blog post?
Nope. None of them unfortunately. The question that, out of the blue for no reason what so ever, begged the answer was –
Am I running away from real life?
Again, you’re probably thinking… what do you mean by real life? Kerri, you are talking gibberish – again. (Fear not, I do the gibberish thing a lot, but this time I actually have a point!)
What I mean by real life is the whole career thing, finding myself another half to spend the rest of my life with, stepping into the scary world of mortgages, having a family. Basically – settling down.
Ok, yes, I am only 24, I admit that isn’t old. However, I have never ever known what to do with my life asides from travel. My mum always knew she wanted to be a nurse, and hey presto, she became a nurse. It wasn’t easy for her, but she got there. But at least she had that dream to be something.
It wasn’t till my previous relationship ended back in 2008, that the urge to travel suddenly came around. I dropped out of uni – a major decision to make – saved for a year and just flew off. A year later, I came home and had everything set –my new boyfriend, travel plans, plans for coming home and where to live. Everything was sorted.
But then that was taken away as well. And now here I am planning my travels – solo – and heading off round the world again, and still no clue what to do apart from that.
And it makes me wonder. If I do simply travel – yes it’ll be amazing – but if I come home still single, still no idea what to do with my career, still nowhere near getting onto the property ladder, let alone moving away from my parent’s home. What will I do? I’ll just be back to where I am now even closer to the big 30… a little wiser perhaps from the travel. But what will I do after?
I’m sure my parents would be thrilled if I simply tell them I plan to travel every few years and come home to scrounge and live off them! At some point I’m going to have to settle somewhere and find myself a job and save for that dreaded mortgage and be a big girl.
But am I running away from starting that now? Of course I want to travel, if that’s my only dream right now, why hold it off for another dream I might not find at home? I hoped that when I travelled Oz, I’d find my niche in life, apart from my creative artistic flare returning, I didn’t find anything. Was I hoping for too much?
For now, I know I’m not ready to get into the world of mortgages or rent, or start a family anytime soon, I know travelling is what I want to do.
But am I running away from it all? Am I running away from growing up?