Category Archives: Work

Work related topics in my little life.

Am I Running Away?

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That was the question that entered my mind just the other day – Am I running away?

Your probably thinking what? What are you running away from?

A big hairy spider?

A looming deadline?

Writing another blog post?

Nope. None of them unfortunately. The question that, out of the blue for no reason what so ever, begged the answer was –

Am I running away from real life?

Again, you’re probably thinking… what do you mean by real life? Kerri, you are talking gibberish – again. (Fear not, I do the gibberish thing a lot, but this time I actually have a point!)

What I mean by real life is the whole career thing, finding myself another half to spend the rest of my life with, stepping into the scary world of mortgages, having a family. Basically – settling down.

Ok, yes, I am only 24, I admit that isn’t old. However, I have never ever known what to do with my life asides from travel. My mum always knew she wanted to be a nurse, and hey presto, she became a nurse. It wasn’t easy for her, but she got there. But at least she had that dream to be something.

It wasn’t till my previous relationship ended back in 2008, that the urge to travel suddenly came around. I dropped out of uni – a major decision to make – saved for a year and just flew off. A year later, I came home and had everything set –my new boyfriend, travel plans, plans for coming home and where to live. Everything was sorted.

But then that was taken away as well. And now here I am planning my travels – solo – and heading off round the world again, and still no clue what to do apart from that.

And it makes me wonder. If I do simply travel – yes it’ll be amazing – but if I come home still single, still no idea what to do with my career, still nowhere near getting onto the property ladder, let alone moving away from my parent’s home. What will I do? I’ll just be back to where I am now even closer to the big 30… a little wiser perhaps from the travel. But what will I do after?

I’m sure my parents would be thrilled if I simply tell them I plan to travel every few years and come home to scrounge and live off them! At some point I’m going to have to settle somewhere and find myself a job and save for that dreaded mortgage and be a big girl.

But am I running away from starting that now? Of course I want to travel, if that’s my only dream right now, why hold it off for another dream I might not find at home? I hoped that when I travelled Oz, I’d find my niche in life, apart from my creative artistic flare returning, I didn’t find anything. Was I hoping for too much?

For now, I know I’m not ready to get into the world of mortgages or rent, or start a family anytime soon, I know travelling is what I want to do.

But am I running away from it all? Am I running away from growing up?

Born To Be Me

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Last night I ventured out with a bunch of friends with the excitement in me knowing it would be a great one. But I think the over excitement and expectations of the night worked against me and resulted in me feeling my ultimate worse.

To begin with I was having a great time, despite being in clubs I would never venture to – but I’m always up for trying things so why the hell not?! Drinks were coming in, laughs were heard and dance moves were shaken. But somehow, in the mass of faces I felt out of place and very alone.

I wasn’t used to the atmosphere, and apart from my workmates, I was surrounded by pretentious people with enough ego to bring the ceiling down. And with that, my confidence shrunk even more than it was before I stepped foot in the club.

Not that I was comparing myself to others, but I really felt I didn’t fit in. And I hate to admit that. I’m not someone who changes for anyone. I want to be myself, and not be someone who isn’t the real me. But somehow, I found myself looking at others and telling myself I wore the wrong outfit, or did my hair wrong, or should pose different in photos.

Odd One Out

It wasn’t something I normally do, but I somehow felt compelled to do it and it made me feel awful.

When I was travelling – yes I looked at others and wished I could be a little more like them – but it made me realise more that it’s great to be different. I was a free bird and some of these people would be long gone by the time I would let it really get to me. I felt like a free spirit and that was more important than anything to me.

For some reason, last night I felt trapped. As everyone was dancing together and chatting amongst themselves I felt like the odd one out. More than ever. I didn’t like myself because of other people. I don’t even know why I was like this, but by the end of the evening I found myself in tears.

Perhaps a little intoxicated I’ll admit, but the tears confirmed that this wasn’t me and in some way I was upset with myself for trying to be this other person.

All of what happened in those few hours confirmed to me who my friends are  and how much I appreciate them and love them. Not just for being my true friends, but for loving me for who I am and not making me feel like changing into something else. They love me for me.

And also my boyfriend for liking me as I am. As much as I criticise myself and lack in self confidence, he still tells me he wants me. He still pushes through the tough times of a long distance relationship and wants to travel with me for as long as possible. I can be me, and not feel the urge to change it to please others.

The revelations of last night have also pushed me even more for travelling. I can be myself even more when I’m out in the big bad world because out there everyone can be different and be accepted for who they really are. I’m not squashed into a tiny space and made to feel like I need to slot in with all the other identical manikins. Travel is what makes me – ME!!

That’s how it should always be, and even if I am the laughing stock of the gossip, I couldn’t care less. I’ll be myself thanks, cause otherwise – what would be the point in us all being here?

A Thanks To The Boy Who Dumped Me

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A thought occurred to me while I was talking about future travel plans with Chris the other day. A thought that never crossed my mind, till I considered all the money I’m saving from my monthly pay cheque towards hitting the road again.

What would I be doing right now if I weren’t planning my RTW?

Out of all the questions that could be asked, this one really stumped me for answers. I couldn’t think what on earth I would be doing if I didn’t have the travel itch. If I wasn’t saving every last pound for my travels, what would I be spending that money on?!

Every month I put aside as much money from my pay as physically possible. My savings account is building and it gets me so excited for what’s to come. All the places I’ll see, faces I’ll pass or meet, and footsteps I’ll leave behind as I work my way around the world. There’s nothing else, at this moment in time, which I would rather be doing.

But what if things were different? I guess I would need to look back to where the Travel Bug first nestled itself in my brain and began my journey – in the summer of 2008. ‘08 was a crazy year for me, crazy in a good and bad way. I’ll give you in the gist;

I was turning 21 – Yay!

I was graduating from 3 years of college – Yay!

I had my final Fashion Show (big stressful event!) – Yay…ish

My boyfriend dumped me – Noo!

And finally I was starting Uni – Yay….?!

Might I just add… all of these bar the latter subject of Uni happened in the month of June. So you could say June 2008 is where it all began. I had just finished 3 amazing years at college and my Aussie boyfriend decided he wasn’t ready for a relationship… and if I’m honest, it was his decision to end things that triggered me to get up and go.

My urge for a Uni degree disappeared and my urge to travel blossomed.

But if he hadn’t of dumped me – would I have stayed with Uni? Well yeah, probably. He told me he loved me, and I loved him. Looking back I remember saying I was more than happy to stay here in my hometown and be with him. Which would mean by now I would’ve just graduated (hopefully!) from Uni and have to think what to do with the rest of my life from here on out!

In which case I’d probably find myself a full time job to pay for some kind of accommodation – overpriced of course – and get by like everybody else, paying bills, complaining about aforementioned bills and the lovely weather we’ve been having and of course not forgetting those little 2 week holidays here and there.

That thought makes me shudder with dread!

Of course, at some point I might actually have to join the brigade of 9-5 jobs and mortgages, but thankfully for now I’ve delayed this nightmare to pursue my dream while the iron is still hot.  It’s all been fate. Fate that I met this boy, fate that he dumped me, fate that I discovered the world of travel and fate that I’m still doing it!!

So, I guess what I’m trying to say here is – thanks. Thanks to Bob* for dumping me. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have done half the shit I had done in the past 3 years and I certainly wouldn’t be planning yet another trip with my curly headed surfer. You did me an awesome favour 🙂

And I certainly wouldn’t of visited my favourite place in the world – Byron Bay 🙂

The Nations Hug

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It’s the nations favourite. Something you turn to when you’re in need of hug and there’s no one around. It’ll never fail to cheer you up when you’re feeling down and just want to relax. And it takes a matter of minutes to rustle up in perfect timing for your favourite tv show to begin.

I’m talking about Tea :).

Good old fashioned – hug in a mug – cheer me up – Tea.

I don’t know about you, but I just adore tea! Who doesn’t?! You can be watching an upsetting scene on a show and I can guarantee that one person will break the silence with “I’ll go put the kettle on”. And you just know what will follow – that lush cup of English Breakfast. It never fails!

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People other than those who live in the UK wonder what our fascination is for tea. I can understand it doesn’t appear overly exciting – but when you live in a more-often-than-not grey rainy country, surrounded by a fair amount of people who like to spend the majority of their day moaning about the aforementioned grey weather or the soaring of this price and that – we just NEED that pick me up… and instead of heading for the bottle – we head for a teabag!

You’ve just had a busy day at work and all you want to do is sit down and relax when you get home, what would perfectly finish that stressful day… apart from a bottle of red?! Tea!!

You’ve just spent the day out shopping but you’re now drenched from that looming cloud that you prayed wouldn’t release itself. But it did. A cuppa is much needed.

You’ve been away on holiday for two sun filled weeks and the dreaded thought of going back to work after doing that mountain load of washing hits you like a slap in the face – get the kettle one now!

Ah tea what did we ever do without you and your toasty sensation as you full up our belly’s!

Now if you don’t mind… I’m gonna put the kettle on, anyone for a cuppa?

🙂

Time Flies…

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When June 22nd of this year hits us… I’ll be doing a fair bit of celebrating. First up, it’ll be my 24th birthday… one step closer to the big 25 – eek! Secondly, I’ll be heading for Glastonbury Festival with my other half… who just so happens to live 500miles away! And also it’ll be exactly 250 days since I arrived home from my year out in Australia… yes, I did the calculations!

So, I figured it would be a good time to recollect all the happenings over the last 8 or so months, and see what the next 8 have to offer for this little Scottish girl as I plan to hit the road all over again.

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Fill My Bucket!

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A Bucket List – if you’re not already familiar with – is a list of things you desire to do before you die, before you “kick the bucket” so to speak. It’s an ever popular part of many travel blogs I come across, and it begged the question – why do I not have one?!

So, as of today, I have started my very own ‘Bucket List’. Most of my wishes and desires are the typical ones that I’ve seen on fellow travellers Lists. But there’s always an odd one that comes up from nowhere, something you always had an urge to do and to others it needs an explanation!

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Save Save Save!

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I always think the fun of travelling starts even before you get on the plane.

I don’t know if this is just me, but I just LOVE saving money for travelling! It’s possibly the whole idea of the massive treats I’m gonna get at the end. I suppose in some ways it’s like a little girl saving up for the dress she wants for the big dance – for me it’s saving up for the experiences and sights I’ll catch across the world.

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